


A Collection of Statements Regarding the "Cat Domain"

by nonebinary_leftbeef



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Did I? Of course not., Gen, It is the apocalypse after all, Original Character(s), Should I have gotten someone to proofread this? Yes., cat domain cat domain cat domain, just a touch of hopelessness and existential dread, why am I allowed on the internet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonebinary_leftbeef/pseuds/nonebinary_leftbeef
Summary: I am a simple they/them; I hear a throwaway line about cats and am immediately obsessed. But alas, I cannot draw so enjoy some crack fic instead.
Kudos: 8





	A Collection of Statements Regarding the "Cat Domain"

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I created an ao3 account for the sole purpose of posting a tma crack fic based on a single line.

A dead bird sat limp in the middle of her kitchen. Her cat, Snowball, had a habit of bringing her all sorts of “gifts”, so this wasn’t an unusual sight. Just a couple of months ago - was that how long it had been? Months? - she would have gingerly picked it up and thrown it away, slightly unnerved but more irritated than anything. But that had been before… well, whatever had happened that had turned the sky to eyes and replaced the background hum of traffic with distant screams. And of course, whatever had turned the cats against them. 

She was worried when Snowball first went missing. The world had turned to hell and Snowball, the precious little boy who screamed whenever he got stuck outside for too long, had gone missing. There was no way he was still safe out there.

Then she had been woken up in the middle of the night by a manic barrage of caterwauls. She had peered out the window and beneath the weak light of the lamp posts that stubbornly refused to turn off, she saw the source of the noise.

A person in dirty, tattered clothing ran through the street as though their life depended on it. And, as the cats came into view, it was apparent that it did. There was a mass of them, all fur and fury, yowling and hissing loud enough to drown out the ever present screams. They reminded her of Snowball chasing after a mouse. He’d bat at it enough to scare it half to death but would then let it run off. Probably so he could chase after it another time, the cruel beast.

But these cats didn’t have the same mercy. One of them pulled away from the pack to dart in front of the figure and trip them up. As soon as they hit the ground, the cats were upon them. She couldn’t bear to watch such a gruesome assault and ducked beneath the window sil. She closed her eyes but she could still hear the ripping and tearing of flesh and the delighted cries of feasting cats. When she worked up the courage to look again, there was little more than bones. 

She wondered constantly about if Snowball had been in that pack. He was such a sweet cat. Sure, he was a bit of a hunter, but he had never brought down anything larger than a small rat. There was no way he could be out there attacking people. He would never. Would he?

No. Whatever was out there couldn’t have been cats. Surely they were some sort of demon that had crawled up from the depths of hell to torture everyone else still alive. The real cats - her cat - must have been out there somewhere. He must be so scared.

But the bird. The bird that lay dead in the middle of her kitchen floor, like so many others that Snowball had left on that very same floor before. It must have been a sign that he was out there. He was okay. And she would find him. She had planned to go on a supply run the next day so she could spend some time looking for him while she was out. She didn’t like being out in the open for too long but she would put up with it, if it meant finding her Snowball.

She set out the next afternoon. The thought of going out in broad daylight sent chills down her spine, but she knew that was when the cats would be sleeping. So, at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon, she slipped out of her apartment with nothing but a backpack to carry the supplies back in and a wooden bat. Realistically, the bat would do nothing to help her, but she felt like she needed something to protect herself.

There was a supermarket just a few blocks away from her apartment. The first time she had gone, she’d expected it to be completely looted, but had found it mostly untouched. That part scared her more than all the screams in the night. But she tried not to think about it too much. That seemed to be best these days.

The streets were painfully empty. The only cars were those now abandoned on the side of the road. For the entire walk, there was no one else in sight. No cats either, which meant her timing was right. 

The walk to the store had been easy, but the dozens of cats sprawled napping on the sun-warmed asphalt more than made up for that. 

She inspected the cats. They seemed normal enough. No devil horns or scaly wings. They were the size of normal house cats too. Could they have just been normal cats? A glisten that caught her eye crushed that hope. 

Bones.

Some of them still had bits of flesh clinging to them while others had been picked clean. Each one looked nauseatingly human. 

She crept past the cats. She nearly jumped out of her skin every time one so much as rolled over or gave a soft meow, but all the cats stayed fast asleep.

The actual gathering of supplies was uneventful enough. The store’s goods had remained eerily untouched, giving her choice of any and all the food she wanted. It was only as she passed the pet aisle that she remembered half her reason for being here. All those cats and she didn’t think to look for Snowball. Cursing her forgetfulness, she slipped a can of Snowball’s favorite food into her bag - a promise to herself that she would find him - and went back to the parking lot.

She realized as she was looking over them that she may have initially underestimated the sheer number of cats. There were not dozens but perhaps hundreds scattered across the asphalt. There was no way she would be able to find Snowball - if he was even in there at all - without going in. The cats gave no indication of being anywhere near waking, so in she went.

They were spread out far enough that she didn’t have to worry about stepping on them, but she still kept her eyes on her feet every time she moved. She began passing the wooden bat from hand to hand in a vain attempt to soothe her nerves. 

What would she even do if she found him here? She could try taking him with her, but she doubted she could do that without waking up the rest. So what then? Perhaps it would be enough just to see him, just to know that he was safe. A bit of hope to hold onto in this bleak, bleak, world. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud thunk.

_The bat._

So deep in thought had she been that the rhythm of passing it between her hands had faltered and she’d dropped it. The feeling of hundreds of eyes turning to her confirmed the worst. She did the only thing she could do.

She ran.

She had never been much of a runner, but hundreds of blood thirsty demon cats are one hell of a motivator, She barely registered the pumping of her legs beneath her as she ran in what she hoped was the direction of her apartment. Adrenaline mostly blocked out the pain in her side, but it was slowly creeping its way in.

It was just as she thought she would collapse that she saw her apartment. With one last burst of energy, she went through the door, locked it behind her, and fell to the floor.

Tears that had been building behind her eyes since the world ended finally broke through. Even with everything that had gone wrong, she had never been so close to death. And she wasn’t even safe yet. There was howling and scratching outside her door, a flood of teeth and claws waiting to tear her apart. And even if they got bored of her and wondered off, she would have to leave her house again for supplies. She would have to risk her life like that again and again until they got her or everything went back to normal.

The latter felt like a cruel joke. This was the world, now and forever.

A soft meow came from beside her.

“Snowball?”

The fluffy white cat meowed back at her.

“Snowball!” she cried, scooping him up in her arms. “I thought you were gone.”

He purred loudly as she held him close to her chest and cried into his fur. Against the harshness of this new hellscape, he felt so, so soft.

She put him down and wiped her eyes. Her vision must have been so blurred with tears that she didn’t see the glint of red in his eyes as she leapt up to catch the door handle with a paw. The door swung open with the weight of the mob.

And the flood came in.

**Author's Note:**

> Guess you could say she was feline pretty hopeless there at the end, huh? (No, I will not apologize). Anyway, couldn't decide if it's funnier to imagine giant cats hunting everyone or just regular sized cats in a massive swarm, so another chapter may be coming depending on my attention span.
> 
> And thanks for reading, my dearest losers. Y'all are great <3


End file.
